commit you to memory, before I take yours
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: Piers didn't need him there. Protection would be better offered by his absence. Character Death.


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise. **

**Challenges listed at the bottom. **

**Word Count** \- 2511

**Warning **\- Character death.

_Beta'd by Amber _

* * *

**commit you to memory, before I take yours **

* * *

"I can be deep!" Piers argued, pouting.

Dean rolled his eyes. "You're about as deep as a puddle."

Scoffing, Piers replied, "Well. You're about as shallow as a shower, so there!"

"Guess that means we're perfect for each other, huh?" Dean offered, tugging Piers closer to kiss the pout off his lips. "Are you ready to go yet?"

"Not yet. Nearly."

"You're taking forever," Dean complained. "We're only going for dinner, Piers."

"But it's my only night to be fancy!"

The words were simple, but they tore at Dean's heart regardless. He hated that he and Piers could only be 'together' when they were out of the country they called home, hated that he couldn't shower Piers with love and attention all the time like he wanted.

It sucked.

He knew that Piers wasn't having a go at him. He never pushed Dean to 'come out', never asked him for more. He even understood, given that Max, his cousin and once guardian, had been the only one Piers was out to for the longest time.

The worst part of it was that Dean wasn't really… he'd come out for Piers if that was the only thing stopping them being openly together. He loved Piers so much, but it wasn't that simple.

It would never be simple.

…

_The call to arms was long awaited, and Dean had never been readier for something to be over. Dean left Shell Cottage with Luna, and walked up the long passageway with her, from the Hog's Head to the Room of Requirement. _

_Being back in Hogwarts was the best feeling, but the familiar shout of joy from Seamus was even better. He hugged Seamus tightly but carefully, horrified by the injuries covering his best friend. _

"_What the hell happened to you?" he asked, when they pulled back. _

"_Hogwarts… it's not really Hogwarts anymore. The Carrows don't handle my cheek the same way McGonagall does. It's so good to see you though. I didn't even know if you were…" _

_Dean didn't have to be a genius to fill in the blank, and he smiled sadly. "They caught me. Held me at Malfoy Manor, but Harry… he saved us. Me, and Luna, and Mr Ollivander. But I can tell you all about that after, right?" _

_Seamus hesitated for a moment before he nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, we'll have a chinwag when this is all over." _

…

"So? Was it worth the wait?" Piers asked, standing in front of Dean.

"You look gorgeous, baby," Dean swore, wrapping his arms around Piers. "But you always look stunning to me and you know that."

Piers nodded and pressed a kiss to Dean's jaw. "I know. Come on then, let's go eat before you disappear from lack of sustenance."

The restaurant was a little ways down the boardwalk from their hotel, and it was a novel experience to walk down the street _holding hands. _They didn't do that at home.

Dean couldn't chance it.

"I'm so ready to eat," Piers said, eyes bright in the moonlight. "Can we just like, order everything on the menu? I think I need the whole menu."

Laughing, Dean shook his head. "I don't think you could eat the whole menu. We can get three desserts to share though?"

"You're the best boyfriend. Ignore me all the times I sulk about you. You're actually the best."

Dean snorted. "I'm gonna remind you that you said that next time you sulk at me."

Piers shrugged. "Let's be real, it won't take long. You make me sulk at least three times a day."

…

_Death Eaters swarmed the castle. Dean was quickly separated from Seamus quickly, despite them trying to stay together. Shielding charms, even the strongest Protego, weren't standing up against the curses the Death Eaters were slinging at them, and Dean got more than one injury from diving out of the way of a spell that came entirely too close for comfort. _

_He was lucky he was nimble on his feet, he supposed. _

_Being unable to keep track of Seamus was stressful, but Dean fought with all he had regardless. The main burden of the night would fall to Harry, he knew, but he could help ease it as best he could along with the others. _

_Together, they could try and make his job a little bit easier. _

_Through the windows, the flickering flames of fire burned the forbidden forest, and even the grounds were covered with fighters, bright flashes of spells flying back and forth. _

_Dean made it out onto the grounds, the fresh air blissful after the spell smoke filling the corners of the castle. _

"_Dean!" _

_He turned at the sound of his name, relieved to see Seamus. _

_So relieved that he didn't see the green light speeding towards him in time to shout a warning. _

…

The restaurant was gorgeous. Soft lighting, softer furnishings, and the food smelled fantastic. After they ordered, Dean absently shredded a napkin as he listened to Piers tell the latest stories of the bakery he co-owned with Max.

Dean loved listening to the enthusiasm Piers had for the bakery. While his long term plan aimed more at law school, and helping the kids that were like he once was himself, he loved working with Max. Dean didn't think he'd ever stop, even after he got through his schooling and exams.

Even now though, where they could be out in the open without fear, Dean still couldn't fully relax.

"Are you okay?"

"Hmm? Oh, I'm fine," Dean assured Piers, smiling at him across the table.

"You've been tense since we walked in," Piers replied, raising his eyebrows.

Shaking his head, Dean reached over and squeezed Piers' hand. "I'm fine, I promise. It's just… different. Even though we're unknown here, being out like this, it's weird. That's all."

Piers' softened immediately, and Dean hated himself for it. He wasn't lying, not really. It _was _weird to be out in the open with Piers, just not for the reasons that Piers believed.

"Well," Piers said brightly, clearly trying to put Dean more at ease. "You promised me three desserts, so better get cracking on the main, huh?"

"I don't know how you're not the size of a house, the amount of sugary shit you put away."

The smirk Piers gave him was sly and mischievous. "It's not like you don't help me work it off, is it?"

…

_He couldn't be dead, he couldn't be dead, he couldn't be dead. _

_The chanting in Dean's brain wouldn't stop as he raced towards Seamus. His best friend was face down in the grass, still in a way he never was. Dean had often joked that Seamus even talked and wriggled in his sleep, he was so hyper all the time. _

_He carefully pushed at Seamus' side until he flopped over onto his back, staring unseeingly up at the sky. _

_Tears slipped down Dean's cheeks, as he stared down at Seamus. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. _

_Seamus was… he'd promised Dean a chinwag. _

_This wasn't supposed to happen. _

"_Dean?" _

_A small hand on his shoulder made him look up, and Luna was there, looking down at him with sadness in her eyes. She had a cut on her forehead, and her clothes were torn and muddy. _

"_We need to move him," she said quietly. "Inside, Dean. We need to take him inside." _

_Dean nodded. He felt numb almost, except for the pain radiating through his chest. _

_This wasn't how it was supposed to be. _

…

Dean had relaxed over dessert, laughing when Piers forced the last bite down, despite the way he looked slightly green. He'd eaten a significant amount of chocolate, but he'd still refused to leave the last bite of gateau on the plate.

The unease returned with a vengeance on the walk back to the hotel. He couldn't shake the feeling that they were being watched.

If Piers noticed, he didn't say anything about the speed with which Dean hustled them back inside and up to their room, instead flopping down on the bed before Dean had even closed and locked the door behind them.

"Why didn't you stop me eating so much?" Piers moaned, his voice muffled by the pillow. "I hope you didn't want me to actually move for the rest of the night; I honestly don't think I can."

Dean chuckled, even as he looked out of the window briefly, before he closed the curtains.

"You're good, babe. Movie and cuddles sound good," he said, shucking his jacket.

They were safe, he told himself firmly. They weren't even in England at the moment. No matter how tenacious _they _were, surely they wouldn't follow him to another country. There was nothing to be gained from that.

Hell, Dean didn't even know if they were watching him at all.

He could just be being paranoid.

…

_Seamus was dead. _

_Harry was dead. _

_Voldemort… _

_Strangely, despite joining the Wizarding world on the cusp of war, it had never occured to Dean that they would eventually lose. Even when Dumbledore had died, and Dean—along with many other Muggleborns—had been forced to run, he'd thought it was have a happy ending. _

_He'd thought Harry would win. _

_He stood in the crowd of Hogwarts defenders and listened to Voldemort's speech. It was full of empty promises about how, under his rule, they'd see the Wizarding World prosper and grow. _

_Dean knew he wouldn't be part of that. He didn't know for sure if he was Muggleborn, or Half-blood, having never met his father, but he doubted that Voldemort would wait to find out. Dean would join the many already dead in this massacre. _

_Luna pressed her hand to the base of his spine to get his attention, and nodded her head behind them. Professor McGonagall was using the crowd as a front to pull Muggleborns from the crowd, guiding them back into the castle. _

_Dean slipped away from Luna, forcing a small smile for his head of house when he passed her, and followed the trail of people. They were using a statue on the third floor, sliding down through a trap door hidden inside of it. _

_He had no idea where it would lead him, but he found he didn't really care. If he stayed, he'd be killed without though. If he left… perhaps he'd live for a while. _

_Though… was it really living, if he had to spend his life looking over his shoulder, waiting for them to catch up with him? _

…

A bang startled Dean awake, and he shot up in the bed, his hand automatically reaching for his wand before he remembered that it was in his coat. He always hid it when he was Piers, it was automatic now.

Another bang sounded, and Piers groaned beside him. "Whassit?" he asked, voice slurred with sleep.

"I don't know," Dean admitted, climbing out of bed. "Stay there, I'm going to go look."

"You're not going by yourself!" Piers replied, sounding much more awake suddenly as he sat up.

Dean shook his head, tugging his wand from his coat. "Please, Piers. Stay here. You could get hurt."

"What's so important about me? _You _could get hurt! And seriously, what are ya gonna do with a thin stick of wood?" Piers shook his head. "Idiot."

He was stuck between a rock and a hard place, torn between finding out what was going on below, and trying to keep Piers safe. A third bang, closer now, made his decision for him. He cast a sleeping charm on Piers, catching him with one arm and lying him back down on the bed.

Taking a deep breath, Dean slipped out of the room, and into the carpeted hallway. He followed the noises, heart stopping in his chest when he saw the flash of light indicating a spell smash harmlessly into a wall.

From where he stood,he could see the lobby through a sliver of a mirror on the opposite wall. There were three Death Eaters, tearing the lobby apart. On the floor lay three muggles, unmoving.

Dean knew he couldn't fight all three of them and guarantee himself able to walk away, to protect Piers, so he fled back up to the room.

Not bothering to pack their things, he gathered Piers in his arms and Apparated away. Keeping Piers safe was essential, and he was beginning to realise that to do that properly, Piers didn't need him there.

Protection would be better offered by his absence.

…

_It had been a year. A whole year, since the Battle of Hogwarts. _

_Dean hadn't managed to keep up with much news from the Wizarding World, but the bits of news he'd gotten weren't good. The resistance, what little of it was left, had crumbled in months. Many of the people Dean had counted amongst his friends were dead. _

_Even more than those that had died in the Battle. _

_From what little he knew, the Death Eaters were rounding up the Muggleborns that had escaped, and those that had run long before the Battle, so he kept on the move and slept with one eye open. _

_He got by doing odd jobs wherever he could find them, sticking to cash in hand offers where he could work without a trace. _

_It was during one such job that he met Piers. He was a muggle man, but he made Dean smile almost immediately, bowing Dean into his bakery playfully during Dean's lunch hour. _

_Dean still wasn't sure how it had happened, but by the time he left the bakery, stomach full and a smile still etched on his face, he had a date for the following evening. _

_He felt bad, because he knew the safest thing to do would be to leave. Stand Piers up. And yet… _

_The next night, he found himself standing outside the bakery in his best shirt, waiting nervously for Piers to finish work. _

_It was a bad idea, but he thought, just for one night, maybe he could be normal. _

…

"I love you," Dean murmured against Piers' neck. "You know that, don't you?"

"Of course I know that. You've been really weird the last few days," Piers said, pulling back to look at Dean. "Tell me what's going on, Dean."

Dean swallowed hard. After leaving the hotel, he'd managed to get Piers home without him asking too many questions, with vague explanations of Piers suffering a strange reaction to the food. He was fairly sure that Piers hadn't actually believed him, but he hadn't pressed too much.

He never did.

Selfishly, he'd taken a few days to say goodbye to Piers. A few days to hold him, to kiss him, to commit every inch of Piers to his memory.

At least, given the way they'd kept their relationship a secret, this would be painless for Piers. That was the most important thing.

"I love you," Dean repeated. "And I'm so sorry, Piers."

"Dean, what—"

Dean slipped his wand into his hand and pointed it at Piers. "I'm sorry. _Obliviate_."

* * *

**Written for: **

HPFC, Mystery Box - Dean Thomas / Essential / Napkin / "You're as shallow as a shower." / Secret relationship.

HPFC, Trick or Treat - Dursley, 5. Piers Polkiss

Assorted Appreciation - 13. "What's so important about me?"

Trope - 1. Secret Relationship.

Space - 20. Non-linear

Book Club - 9. Knox - Burden / Stress / Death

Showtime - 27. Between a rock and a hard place.

Liza Loves - 4. A secret

Angel - 21. "But it's my only night to be fancy!"

Scamander - 17. Bowing

Wandmaker - Elm (VoldemortWins!AU) / Kelpie Hair (Significant)

Sci Fi - Apocalypse - What type - Voldemort - VoldemortWins!AU

Game Night - Secret Relationship

Mythology - 1. Fire

Pop - Marvel TV - Daredevil - Protego / Death Eaters / Protection / Nimble

365\. 356. Massacre


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